Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
