Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
