East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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