im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize