At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
wow bdsm is so cute
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
