Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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