she's into porn, im staying here tonight
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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