I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
