Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
