Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
