Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
