i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
How does one acquire holy water?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
