Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Randomize