It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
