Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
