I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
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I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
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i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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