i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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