Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize