Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"