Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
he thought i was a dude.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire