he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.