just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
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I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I touched a dick in church today
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?