trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"