We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
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I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
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he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.