i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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