Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
