I hope mine doesn't look like that
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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