we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you didnt know i had herpes?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
