i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Found the puke drawer
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Randomize
