i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
