Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize