and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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