the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize