Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
