Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
