How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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