I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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