That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
