Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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