Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
