I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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