Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
