I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
sarcasm needs its own font
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
