I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I need a beard to bite.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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