the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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