if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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