I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
