Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
