I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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