How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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