This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
