Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
