She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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