We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
