dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
