so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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