I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
