TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
