I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
