My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
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told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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