escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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