Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
