Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
