ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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