My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
