My balls are so social today.
this boner is exhausting
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize